Friends forever?

A little over a week ago I had an opportunity to catch up with a couple of really old friends from high school. I hadn't seen them in years. Russ was the best man in my wedding and now lives in Austin Texas, and Larry was a fast friend who was also at my wedding, which just happens to be the last time I saw him...almost 22 years ago to the day. I had a wonderful time and I feel horrible as well.

Russ (in TX) and I have talked occassionally over the years and have marginally kept up through e-mail. We have both gotten married and have families. Plus we have the added burden of distance between us as well. One can easily see how we could lose touch. Larry, whom I haven't seen in over 20 years, and have talked with maybe 3 or 4 times over that span, lives in a southern suburb about twenty minutes from my house...and has for over a decade! What's my excuse? On top of that, he lives about 5 blocks from my friend Rick from church, and I've been to his house many times over the last several years. I know that communication is a two way street but that doesn't absolve me of the responsibility of keeping in touch. I am such a heel!

Both of my friends have beautiful wives and great children. What have I been missing all these years? I have definitely had a full life with little to complain about and much to be thankful for, but how much richer could my life have been if I had put out a little effort to keep these cool people in my life?

Thankfully we are only in our mid forties and our kids are still young so we have plenty of time to catch up and move forward together. Here in writing, for God and the world to see, I vow to not let this happen again. Good friends are too hard to come by. I am going to guess that everyone has a Russ and a Larry in their past, and I encourage you that as soon as you are done reading this post and commenting if you like, open your e-mail and send them a note...preferably with photos of the kids.

Electronics and Etiquette

We live in a society where nearly everyone has personal electronic gadgets. Wearing ear buds seems to be the universal sign for 'leave me alone' and some people believe talking on a cell phone anytime, anywhere is a God given right. If you attend any type of public gathering that lasts more than 20 minutes or so, more than likely there will be at least one cell phone that goes off. And it won't be a really cool ring tone either. We have to suffer through the double annoyance of the phone going off and a stupid ringer as well.

I don't have a problem with people listening to their MP3 players. I have one myself and use it often. If I need to talk to someone using their i-pod I don't mind tapping them on the shoulder if they don't respond to my initial inquiry. However, once I have their attention I think it is reasonable to expect them to give me their attention during our conversation. This could mean taking the earbuds out, pausing/turning off the MP3 player, or some other visible means that shows me they are engaged in our communication. Is this too much to expect? Does Miss Manners need to publish a book on personal electronics etiquette? Am I a prude?

Over the past several weeks I have observed many instances of electronic rudeness; phones going off at church, people talking on their cell phones during a quiet gathering (where they could have easily left the room if it was important to take the call), and older kids having their ear buds in (or playing a PSP game) when they should be paying attention to a speaker at an event.

I don't think the actual devices are the problem. We can put our phones on vibrate. We can instruct our children to leave the MP3 player and games at home. We can leave a room when our phone conversation will potentially distract others.

So why don't we?

Changed Forever

On Sunday evening I returned from an 8 day mission trip to the Dominican Republic. Over the years I have heard about poverty from different places; blurbs on the news, pictures on the internet, and stories of people who have visited poor regions of the world etc. It was all very matter-of-fact and what I would term 'arms length' information, yeah you know about it but you don't really KNOW. Well, now I do and I will never be the same.

I truly am a big fat ugly American. As the title of my blog says, I am an average guy. My income is average, my house is average, the number of cars and children I have is average (2 each). I truly am content and happy for many reasons that I don't really need to list here. This doesn't mean I don't have needs and wants, desires and ambitions. I do, but many times I just choose not to put my rat into the race.

At least I have a rat and know when post time is. I can flip a switch and be reasonably sure a light will turn on. If I were to wear every piece of clothing I own, I could go well over 2 weeks without ever having to wash anything (the truth is I don't really know how many clothes I have). I can drink the water out of any faucet I choose without fear of disease and I can flush my toilet paper. If I have a yearning for a certain food I can go down to my local grocery store and easily afford it with my average income. And if I don't like my job I can go find another one.

I had the privilege of learning that none of this is true for the poor people of the Dominican Republic. It was the type of learning that only comes from experience. They have so little. All the things I listed above that I take for granted they don't have, and maybe never will. A day laborer working in the fields picking crops will be paid about 35 pesos a day (the equivalent of 1 US dollar). A bottle of Coke in the store across the street from where our team was staying was 15 pesos. My way of thinking is 15 pesos is about 40 cents...wow that's cheap! However, for the crop picker it is almost a half a days wages for 1 bottle of pop.

The bible states the poor will always be with us, and history has proven that to be true. Before this trip I only had a cursory understanding of this issue, now I have first hand experience. I will never forget the opportunity of working for a week down there hopefully making a small difference in the lives of a few children.

Heat and Humility

Today in Minnesota it cracked 90 degrees for the first time since last summer. Thankfully the full onslaught of humidity hasn't hit, otherwise I would be melting into a puddle to be mopped up and never seen again. When I got home from work all I wanted to do was put on a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and my sandals. I suppose if you think about it a certain way this clothes shedding could be considered 'Minnesota Molting.'

Now I am neither a geezer nor a prude, but I witnessed an early molting this April when our family went to one of the mid-Wisconsin over zealous indoor water park tourist traps. When did swimsuit companies start buying material by the square inch instead of the square yard? Most of these strips of cloth should come with a consumer warning label. When you watch news magazine shows that do makeovers or What Not to Wear they almost always extoll the virtues of dressing to your body type. Is swimwear exempt from this admonition? Maybe the warning label should read 'did you actually LOOK at yourself in the mirror?' or 'prepare to be leered and ogled (and not in a good way).' Trust me when I say that NOBODY wants to see me in a late 70's retro speedo, what makes you think I want to see you in it? There are very few people on this planet that can pull off the SI Swimsuit or retro speedo, and most of those are already in the magazines. For the rest of us, we need to be a little more prudent in our choices.

Wearing a swimsuit is not a crime, nor should it be. Neither do I follow Islam and expect women to be completely covered (except maybe my beautiful young adolescent daughter). What I wish is the term 'socially acceptable' to be defined a little more narrowly, for people to look in the mirror and think "that's not o.k." Victoria has no secrets...she has revealed them all. What I wish is people would leave a little for the imagination.

First Post and Voyeurism

I wonder what the attraction is. Actually I know what the attraction is; we are voyeurs. I have been meaning to set up a blog and start writing for some time now, and tonight I finally did it. The plan was to set up my blog, write my first post, shower, and go to bed at a reasonable time. As I have hit my mid 40's I define a reasonable bedtime rather narrowly, usually before the 10 o'clock news is over. But here I am after 11:00 p.m. and just now typing. What happened?

Blogs happened. Occasionally I would have a friend or colleague ask me to check out their blog, and I would. But most likely that would be the end of it. I would read a few posts, maybe add a comment, but that was as far as it went. I didn't troll the site reading all the other blogs and posts, peeping through their electronic window trying to 'see what's in there.' I was afraid I was going to feel like a little kid reading his big sister's diary...you know it's wrong but it's just sitting right there. If she didn't want me to read it, she wouldn't have left it where I could find it. So what if it was in her top left drawer under her bras? She still shouldn't have left it where I could find it!

Anyway, tonight I have to admit that I was a voyeur. I spent WAAYYYY too much time reading other folks blogs and not creating mine. Am I the only one who has done this? Have I just graduated from tire kicker to cyber stalker?

Well, here I am. This is my first blog and my first post. Feel free to peek in my window and have a look. I don't know where this blog will go, but I am hoping you will find it interesting, thought provoking, and maybe even a little humorous.